Banjo Kazooie
by Lynchanator
Summary: In a darring quest to rescue his sister, Banjo the bear sets off with his best friend, Kazooie to fight the evil witch, Gruntilda
1. Prolouge

"Dingpot, Dingpot; by the bench, who is the nicest looking wench?" Gruntilda, the ugly, green-skinned, evil, fat witch asked her magical cauldron, Dingpot, while picking her long, pointed, nose. Gruntilda lived in a mountain that she chiseled to look like her face, which she called, her evil lair, located in the small village, Spiral Mountain.

"Why it's Grunty any day; she really takes my breath away…" answered Dingpot with a cough.

"Yes, you're right; I'm rather proud; my looks stand me out from the crowd!" she said, smiling.

"Err… But there is this girl-" Dingpot said before being interrupted by Gruntilda.

"What do you mean? This cannot be! There's no one prettier than me!" Gruntilda screamed.

"It's Tooty, the honey bear. She's young and small. She's the prettiest girl of all!" Dingpot continued. Tooty suddenly appeared in a green substance within Dingpot that Gruntilda had been stirring the whole time. She was playing the piccolo in the middle of a bunch of yellow flowers.

"No! You must be mad! Nicer beauty can't be had!" Gruntilda said continuing to scream. She pounded her fists against Dingpot in anger. Dingpot winced in pain.

"Unfortunately, I think you'll find Tooty to be much more cute and kind," grumbled Dingpot.

"Well, we'll see about that!" Gruntilda snapped. Gruntilda walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. She then snapped her fingers and her magical broomstick appeared. After hopping on the broomstick, she flew out of the lair to search for Tooty from up above.

As Tooty put away her piccolo and exited the yellow flowers, she found the way to her brother, Banjo and his best friend, Kazooie's house. She soon arrived at his blue house and noticed a molehill near the entrance.

"Bottles? Is that you?" she called out. A chubby short mole with goggles on struggled out of the molehill to greet her.

"Hey Tooty, what are you going to do today?" Bottles asked.

"When my big lazy brother finally wakes up, we're going on an adventure along with Kazooie. You should come too!" Tooty said excitedly.

"Thanks, but I don't think that I'm ready to deal with Kazooie's attitude so early in the day," Bottles said with a chuckle.

Meanwhile, Banjo, the honey bear and Kazooie, the Red-Crested Breegull were happily asleep in Banjo's house. Banjo was in his bed with his bright yellow shorts, black belt, and a shark tooth necklace. Kazooie, on the other hand, resided in Banjo's backpack which was hanging on a hat rack. Ever since Banjo found and adopted Kazooie, she has felt quite at home and comfortable in Banjo's backpack. She goes everywhere that he does.

"Banjo, wake up! I want to begin our adventure! I think Tooty's here already!" Kazooie shouted to Banjo after just waking up. Banjo tossed and turned in his sleep, but didn't wake.

"If Tooty thinks she's fairer than me, I'll steal her looks and ugly she'll be!" said Gruntilda while continuing to search for Tooty from the skies. Gruntilda's bewitched broomstick snickered and nodded in agreement. Soon Gruntilda spotted Tooty are flew straight toward her.

"Is that your Banjo?" asked Bottles pointing to towards something moving toward them in the sky.

"Where; I can't see anything…" said Tooty looking all around in the direction Bottles was pointing.

"There!" shouted Bottles pointing again.

"Why would that be Banjo? He's a bear! Bears can't fly!" Tooty said after finally noticing what Bottles was talking about.

"Well I thought Kazooie might be flying, carrying Banjo with his backpack," Bottles told her.

"Kazooie doesn't know how to fly," Tooty said with a chuckle. Bottles looked surprised and was about to speak when the figure in the sky was finally close enough to recognize.

"Eww, it's a hideous witch!" screamed Tooty.

Gruntilda flew right up close to Tooty and snatched her up. She then turned toward her evil lair and was about to fly over to it when Tooty suddenly bit her in the arm.

"Ugh! Let me go, you ugly old hag!" Tooty cried out. Gruntilda hit Tooty in the head, but was met with a barrage of scratches from Tooty.

"Don't scratch and bite, my little bear; you'll soon need bigger underwear!" Gruntilda screamed in pain. She then flew off to her lair with Tooty leaving Bottles feeling helpless to do a single thing.

"Somebody help! Gruntilda, the evil witch has kidnapped sweet little Tooty!" Bottles cried out.

"Banjo, hurry and wake up!" Kazooie shouted from inside Banjo's house. Banjo finally awoke with a yawn and checked the time.

"Can't you give me another five minutes before we start our adventure?" Banjo asked grimly as he closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep.

"Wait! Something's happening outside! There was a lot of noise just now!" Kazooie shouted over to Banjo from his backpack.

"I have to alert Banjo and Kazooie right away!" Bottles thought to himself. He dug underground and started to shake the foundation beneath Banjo's house in order to wake him.

"Banjo, the whole place is shaking! Something is definitely happening! You need to get up!" Kazooie screamed angrily at Banjo. Banjo got up out of bed carefully.

"Whoa! What's happening?" Banjo asked while struggleing to keep his balance.

"There must be trouble outside! We need to check on Tooty!" Kazooie shouted as the hat rack, which held the backpack that he was in tipped over. Banjo ran over to Kazooie, picked the backpack he was in up, put in on his back, and went outside.

"I've been waiting for you to come out for a while! I've even been shaking the foundation beneath your house, trying to get your attention!" Bottles shouted as soon as he saw them.

"That was you?" asked Kazooie in a harsh tone.

"Yes, but more importantly, an evil witch named Gruntilda just kidnapped Tooty!" Bottles said crying.

"Calm down, geeky! We'll get her back! So where did the witch take her?" asked Kazooie. Bottles pointed to the sculpture of Gruntilda on the mountainside.

"Gruntilda took Tooty inside there. That's the entrance to her lair. It'll probably be dangerous though, so you should let me teach you some new essential moves before you enter her lair!" Bottles warned them as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Sure, it sounds like we'll need all the help we can get if we're going up against a witch!" said Banjo.

"Wait! I have a question for you! Why were you here in the first place?" Kazooie asked skeptically.

"Kazooie's right. You only come over on the weekends usually for poker, but this is the middle of the week. So why _are_ you here?" Banjo questioned.

"It's personal. Let's just say my wife and I just need a little space from each other right now, so I thought I'd stay with you for a day," answered Bottles.

"Okay. So since we got that out of the way, why don't you start teaching us some new moves?" asked Banjo.

"I'm not ready to begin training you yet. Go back inside your house for now until I prepare some training stations," Bottles commanded.

"Okay, Bottles! Kazooie and I will play some poker until your ready. Also, when your ready to begin training us, please don't shake our house this time," Banjo said with a nervous laugh.

"That's fine with me. See ya!" shouted Bottles as he burrowed underground. Banjo walked inside the house with Kazooie and set up a game of poker.

"Klungo, tell the representatives of the nine worlds that I created to come to a secret council meeting immediately at the top of my lair," Gruntilda told her hideous, hunchbacked, ugly, green, servant after locked Tooty in a cell in the basement of her lair.

"Yesss, Mistresss," he hissed as he walked away to fulfill his master's orders.

"I don't feel comfortable sitting here playing poker while Tooty is kidnapped by an evil witch!" shouted Kazooie, knocking all of the poker pieces to the ground with her wing in frustration. Just then they heard huffing and puffing outside and ran out to see what it was. Once out, they found Bottles lying down next to his molehill trying to catch his breath.

"I have created a giant path that stretches all the way around Spiral Mountain, but has several detours in it. Each detour houses a training station. At each station, I'll teach you two a new move that'll help you get your sister back," Bottles stated.

"So we'll end up learning new moves? That's awesome!" cheered Kazooie.

"But shouldn't we avoid wasting time on moves and just barge into Gruntilda's Lair to rescue Tooty?" Banjo asked.

"No! I know for a fact that Tooty is safe for the time being! I have a friend that is acting as a spy in Gruntilda's ranks," Bottles announced.

"Well that puts my mind at least _a little_ at ease. Plus, we'll have new moves that'll make us that much harder to stop!" said Banjo cheerfully.

"New moves aren't the only things that I have to give you!" he told them. Bottles reached into his pocket and took out a small metal cube.

"What's that?" asked Banjo.

"A life monitor. It will monitor how many lives you have left," Bottles said simply.

"Nerdy, _everything_ only has _one_ chance at life! There's no such thing as more than one life!" Kazooie snapped.

"When you enter a witch's territory, the rules of life somewhat change. For example, everything that goes near a witch's residences has their durability converted into what witches call, lives. Each time a being gets hurt they loose one of their lives or more if the being was made by use of magic. Most unmagical beings start off with only up to two lives, which are why witches are extremely hard to defeat. Since witches are magical, they only need to injure someone once for them to die," Bottles explained.

"So basically you're telling me that we don't have a chance?" asked Kazooie frantically.

"Lay off Kazooie! He hasn't explained what the metal cube is for yet. Maybe it can help," Banjo reassured his best friend.

"Banjo's right. My son who's quite the inventor created this cube. It has the power to manipulate a witch's power." Bottles concluded. He then pointed the cube's most decorative side at Kazooie and pressed a small red button on the top-most side.

A dart flew out of the cube and stuck Kazooie in the wing. The point of the dart broke off inside Kazooie and the body of the dart fell to the ground.

"Ouch! What the heck did you do?" Kazooie shouted. Without saying a word, Bottles shot Banjo too. The same thing happened. Bottles then pressed a small blue button on the top-most side. Two metal cubes popped out. Bottles held the cubes up so that Banjo and Kazooie could see them. The cubes turned into small metal golden honeycombs with a number on each of them.

One of the honeycombs had a number two on it and the other one had a number three on it. Bottles carefully set them on the ground.

"The darts-heads inside of you two are transmitting a signal to these honeycomb life monitors."

"Why does one of the honeycombs display the number three? I thought that we only had two lives," Kazooie said.

"Well, it seems that Banjo gained an extra life in his adventure with Diddy," Bottles explained.

So what did you mean when you told us that you could manipulate a witch's power? You just _displayed_ the power, not _manipulated_ it," Kazooie announced.

"Watch this!" Bottles said excitedly as he picked up one of the honeycombs and slammed it into the other one. The honeycombs merged into one with the number five on it.

"Now Kazooie has merged with your backpack and you two have become one. You now have five lives total," Bottles told them.

"This feels strange!" Kazooie companied.

"You have it easy because now you have to be carried everywhere you go! So are you ready to begin your training?" Bottles asked.

"I have a question first. How long will it take you to get to each of the training stations after we arrive there? Because I don't want to waist any time when my sister is in danger," Banjo stated. Bottles grinned and shook his head.

"While you two were waiting for me, I was digging an underground tunnel system in addition to setting up the training stations. I'll be the one waiting for you, so just call out for me whenever you see a molehill and I'll pop right out of it ready to teach you a new move," he answered.

"Okay! Then let's get going!" Banjo shouted eagerly. Bottles jumped in the air and dove into his molehill. Banjo began to run up the path towards the first station...


	2. Chapter 1: Training with Bottles

While following Bottles' path, Banjo soon came to the first station. There were tons of stumps everywhere varying between sizes. Bottles jumped out of a molehill near one of the smaller stumps.

"In this station, we'll work on your jumping," Bottles said, wasting no time.

"What could a mole possibly teach us about jumping?" Kazooie asked skeptically.

"Just shut up and listen to what I have to say, Feather-head!" Bottles snapped. "Banjo, I've seen you jump in the past and have noticed that that you aren't jumping to the best of your ability. Bend your legs more and then jump like a spring. It'll make you go higher."

Banjo did as he was instructed and sure enough jumped higher than normal.

"Kazooie can help too," Bottles said, turning is attention to her.

"How?" She asked

"When Banjo is trying to jump to somewhere that would normally be too far to get over to, you can enable him to reach it using a jumping technique that I call the 'Flutter'. All you have to do is flap your wings as fast as you can while Banjo is midair and you two will flutter over to it. Why don't you climb on the stump next to me and practice fluttering to another stump far away?"

Banjo nodded and climbed atop the small stump near Bottles. He looked around and spotted a stump that he judged was a good long distance and jumped. Kazooie flapped her wings profusely and they landed perfectly on the stump they were aiming for.

"We did it!" shouted Kazooie.

"Yes, but the 'Flutter' wasn't the only jumping move I have to teach you at this station. I shall also teach you about the 'Flapflip Jump' which is more difficult to master."

Bottles walked over next to the tallest stump and motioned for Banjo to come over.

"Now, for the 'Flapflip Jump', you, need to have your back facing the stump and do a back flip while Kazooie scoops the ground in an upward motion to gain more air."

Banjo and Kazooie executed to new move perfectly and ended up on top of the stump.

"Whoa! I found this golden honeycomb, but it's lacking and honey in the center!" Banjo shouted.

"That's because it's an empty honeycomb. My spy in Gruntilda's lair is a shaman and so he gave me six honeycombs for your life monitor. Just feed it to Kazooie and if what he told me is correct, it should merge together with the life monitor. After every six empty honeycombs are merged with your life monitor, you'll gain an extra life. Depending on whether you master my stations or not determines whether you'll get the honeycombs. Just think of it as an extra incentive," Bottles told them.

"Sweet, but can we move on to the next station now please?" Kazooie asked.

"Sure. See you there," Bottles said while jumping back down his molehill.

The trail to the next station paralleled the mountainous border of Spiral Mountain until the duo came to a cliff. The trail appeared to be going off the edge of he cliff, but then Banjo noticed chunks of land sticking out of the border. Several monstrous waterfalls were coming down onto the chunks of land from the other side of the mountainous border.

Banjo and Kazooie both agreed that Bottles must have wanted them to use the chunks of land as midair stepping-stones. After jumping and fluttering across a few of the land chunks, they noticed an alcove behind the waterfall coming down on the current chunk of land they were on with another empty honeycomb in it. Banjo took a few steps backwards and lunged into the alcove, grabbing the empty honeycomb, but because of the force he used in his lunge combined with the smashing force of the waterfall, the chunk of land they were on broke off into the lake below taking Banjo and Kazooie with it. The current carried them off into the moat surrounding the raised platform that connected Gruntilda's Lair with Spiral Mountain.

Banjo successfully dogpaddled over to the rocky edge of the moat and grabbed on to regain his breath. Safely on the edge of the moat, Bottles was sitting on his molehill laughing at them.

"You think this is funny?" growled Banjo.

"Well, yeah! I loosened the land under the empty honeycomb so that it would crumble once you rushed to the other side of the waterfall. I needed a way to get you into the water to practice swimming, but I didn't imagine that it'd go so perfectly," Bottles said hysterically.

"This is no time for jokes!" Banjo yelled. "My sister is kidnapped, so just start your lesson!"

"Okay, okay. You're right; this is a bad time for jokes. So with that behind us, like I said before, you'll be learning how to swim underwater at this station."

Banjo swam to the other side of the moat in order to see Bottles more clearly.

"Start by diving underwater and have Kazooie place her wings on your sides as tight as possible. Then just kick your feet back and forth, Banjo. You'll be able to maneuver fairly easily underwater."

Banjo begun to practice the technique for a bit with Kazooie. After awhile he announced to Bottles that he'd mastered it.

"Now, do the same thing, but this time, instead of having Kazooie placing her wings on your sides, have her subside the water with her wings. This will allow you to move quickly underwater, but you won't have as much control," Bottles said. Now, there should be another alcove at the bottom of the moat your in with another empty honeycomb."

Banjo dove underwater, found the empty honeycomb, and added it to his collection. When he came back up out of the water, Bottles had already gone down into his molehill to the next station. After getting out of the water, Banjo found the trail again and followed it over a bridge to the other side of the moat. The next molehill was located next to a tree near the bridge. Bottles jumped out.

"This next technique is easy. It's just climbing a tree. All you have to do is stick your sharp nails into the bark of this tree and climb to the top," Bottles announced.

"What do I have to do?" asked Kazooie.

"Nothing, if you tried to help Banjo, you'd just be getting in his way," Bottles answered. Banjo leaped onto the tree and climbed to the top within seconds. There was another empty honeycomb on the top branch, which Banjo immediately collected.

After a little trouble climbing back down Banjo found and continued along the trail.


End file.
